Day 7: In Review

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I want to finish out this #5LLChallenge with a Valentine’s Day review. How’d we do after both reading the book and thoroughly analyzing it? Well, Valentine’s Day was super busy. Our schedule was WAY full: a Ladies’ Mugs and Bagels event for me, two birthday parties for the kids, errands, some work, and Wototo Children’s Choir at church. But it all started with breakfast made by my guys.

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#madskills

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They made us pink, purple, and red pancakes; heart shaped bacon, strawberry milk (Aron actually cooked the strawberries down to make the syrup); and coffee 전단지. Delicious and thoughtful.

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So how did Aron do? He gave me a sweet note that made me tear up and he made me great coffee. That filled my love tank with Words of Affirmation and Acts of Service, my top two love languages. AMAZING! But wait! There’s more! He also got me pretty tulips and Chinese delivery for dinner! If you’ve been following along, you know that Aron did GOOD 슈퍼마리오 올스타!

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#chinese #myotherotherlovelanguage

How did I do?

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I made him a homemade Valentine with a nice note on the back…you can’t see.  Sorry.  Definitely covered the Words of Affirmation base for him for sure!

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I also bought him a copy of Creativity, Inc by Ed Catmull Detroit Metal City.  He mentioned he’d like me to try to find this book at the library last week. It was checked out everywhere, so I did him one better.

Aron’s secondary love language is physical touch. I’m not going to share any intimate details…because there aren’t any. We were so tired from our day and full from dinner, that we passed out on the couch. I know, Boo Hiss. But he got plenty of hugs, hand holds, pats, etc. And that’s OKAY (re: Day 4 of #5LLChallenge.)

***

 In an earlier chapter, Chapman says, “Much of the misbehavior of children is motivated by the cravings of an empty ‘love tank.'”  Isn’t that true of all of us, btw,  whether we’re 5 or 35 2019 클럽노래 다운로드?

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We all get to actin’ unlovely when we’re not feeling loved. It’s a natural instinct. When my kids are misbehaving, it’s hard to slow down and think, “What could I be doing better? How can I leverage my child’s strengths and personality so that I can help minimize this behavior in a positive manner?” It’s more like, “Shut ‘er down to shutty town and go to your room.” Knowing my kids’ primary love languages and speaking them can make a huge difference.

This second reading of 5LL gave me another chance to stop and take a look at my kids.  It doesn’t take much time to start seeing patterns from good and bad memories to recognize possible primary love languages of my kids Download Insta Story.

imageMy son is brilliant. He is a leader. He is a planner and a strategist. He is an inventor. One thing he is phenomenal at is reinventing games into new games. Sometimes they are super complicated with no less than twenty rules. It’s easy to shut him down because it’s honestly miserable to try to remember all the details. But, boy, does it fill his love tank when Aron or I can stick in there with him and play a full round Vocaloid. It validates his ideas and hard work. We try to use these opportunities to teach him flexibility and making tweaks to his ideas. This game was actually pretty fun. John Palmer’s primary love language is probably Quality Time.

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Ellie is smart and caring. She is incredibly creative. I know I’m biased and prone to exaggerate about my child, but she can literally think of something and then draw or paint it 성경과 찬송. Just today: underwater mermaid spa, BAM! #selftaught. I’ll have to admit, when I thought about her, I had a hard time pinning down her primary love language. So I decided to ask her, “What’s your favorite thing you do with your daddy.” She said, “I like it when I get to go out with him.” Aron takes the kids out sometimes when he has to run errands or is networking. They all love it, but that was her answer. So far, I’m thinking her love language is Quality Time with Words of Affirmation as a close second.

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Oh Abbie, she’s my sweet tart opgg 다운로드. She is spunky and fearless. She’s smart and friendly. She never stops moving until she passes out asleep. Abbie likes to ask great questions, you know, the kind that embarrass her parents in public. “Mom, why is that man so old?” Her primary love language has to be Physical Touch. She is my only child that begs to be held, rocked, or snuggled. She crawls into our bed multiple times a week like a silent night ninja. She loves to hold hands and hug and get kissed. But Acts of Service has to be second because she “reminds” me when I haven’t done the things she needs me to do…twelve seconds after she asked me to do them Download Excel from the web.  “Mom, you forgot to…” or “Mom, why haven’t you…yet?” Yep.

I’m going to have to read The Five Love Languages for Children next.

To close out this #5LLChallenge, I want to remind myself and whoever may have chosen to follow along, that there are so many people, not just our spouses or children, that can benefit from this concept of love languages. Family, friends, business partners, co-workers, teachers, etc. all have them. Just think of what a high five, or an atta-boy, or a thank you note, or a phone call, or lunch date could mean to someone 향수 자막.  It’s not just a romance thing. Just by taking a little time to make some observations, find some patterns, and listen to what they say, I can identify ways to bring the best out of them too.

I’ve really enjoyed this. I hope you received something from it! I’d love to hear from you! What’s your primary love language?

Day 6: Potential Energy

I used to think potential was a positive word.  “They have so much potential.” A nice thing to hear on your wedding day.  But change the “have” to “had” and it’s much more depressing.  You don’t want to look at your marriage down the road and think, “We HAD so much potential.”

So how do you change potential energy into kinetic energy? (That’s right, I did just break out the science.)

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Walking through a dark room is scary and I  could ram my shin into a piece of furniture 마리오 다운로드. The resulting bruises will be FIERCE. So, my first instinct is probably to find the light switch. If I can just turn on the light, everything will be better.

But what if, for some crazy reason, I just chose to leave the light off. What if I decided to stumble around for the rest of the night? That wouldn’t make any sense, would it?

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That light switch is just inches away, practically at my fingertips, ready to be flipped Download Flower Dance. It turns the potential (stored) energy of electrical current into kinetic (active) energy. The light comes on.

But that’s what it’s like to read this book and not apply it.  Knowing where the switch is, but passing right by.  I’ll get hurt and waste a ton of time.

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  In Ch. 11 of The Five Love Languages, Chapman gives an example of a husband who assumed his wife was feeling loved because he helped her around the house.  When she told him she wasn’t, it left him frustrated and confused 교통상황 다운로드.

When Gary Chapman helps him understand that his wife needed his Quality Time more than Acts of Service, his primary love language, he says,

Why didn’t someone tell me this 30 years ago? I could’ve been sitting on the couch with her for fifteen minutes every night instead of doing all this stuff.

I love this lightbulb moment! And it really only took minutes of concrete thinking. And how cool is it, that for this couple, it was a pretty simple switch. It’s a great story because they applied what they learned 파랜드 택틱스3.

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The decision to love your spouse holds tremendous potential. Learning his/her primary love language makes that potential reality.

Knowledge isn’t power. But applied knowledge is. Go ahead and flip that switch!

Chapter 12: Loving the Unlovely

Flipping the switch is a lot simpler when both you AND your spouse are bought into the process of learning your respective love languages Monster park.

Can I be honest? This post is a day late because I don’t like this chapter.  When I read, it’s easy to transfer the info on someone else. It’s hard to look in the mirror and admit that I can be unlovely too.

Aron and I go through times where one of us has flipped the switch on, and the other comes right behind and turns it off…with some kind of sassy attitude Download the pls game. The room starts to look like a rave. (Easily, my worst nightmare.)

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I close my eyes for fear of a seizure. On, off, on, off.  It can become a cycle.  (Have any of you read Love and Respect? Sounds familiar right?!)

Why do I get unlovely? Mainly because I don’t feel like being lovely. It all comes down to feelings. I’m mad, I’m sad, I’m annoyed, I’m hurt, I’m afraid, I’m worried Download oracle earlier.

 It may also be that Aron’s been unlovely, so I get to be unlovely back. That’s seems fair. “Why should I be nice…you’re the one that needs to change…you be the mature one this time. Why do I always have to change?” You never. I always. I never. You always. Those convos always turn out well…no love languages happening for sure.

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As I’ve read through several marriage books over the last year, most authors make me think through my vows, the covenant I made ckeditor.js 다운로드. I promised to be faithful through all circumstances. I don’t remember any stipulations like this:

Aron, if Becky is a jerk, you get to be a jerk too. Becky, if Aron is a jerk, you get to be a jerk too. Amen. Now let’s have a scripture reading from 1 Corinthians 13.

I do remember hearing “in good times and in bad.” That can include me causing the bad times or vice versa. In the end, does it matter who started it?

Sometimes, speaking love languages sounds more like a monologue than a conversation Jsp zip. Someone has to “go first.” Say the first word and don’t worry about who gets the last. It goes something like this… “I’m sorry.” And since Aron’s primary love language is Words of Affirmation, I need to acknowledge that verbally…and that is really hard.

We all have our moments. But I will remind myself that my screw ups don’t make me one. The same goes for Aron. He gets the same grace as me Black Desert Kerma. Maybe I should get that tatooed on my wrist for quick reference.

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(By the way, thanks for having grace with me getting this post done a day late. Y’all are the best.)

Day 5: It’s Not Natural

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Ch. 9: Discovering Your Primary Love Language

These are our lists from greatest to least:

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You can find your primary love languages several different ways:

1 Download pc link. What makes you feel most loved by your spouse? What do you desire above all else?

2. What does your spouse do or say or fail to do or say that hurts you deeply?

3. What have I most often requested of my spouse?

4. Examine what you do or say to express love to your spouse.

I will say that I had a hard time deciding between Words and Acts as my primary love language Download the free font. If we were taking a numerical score, they would probably be tied. And all of these languages hold value for Aron and I . We speak them all, but our primary languages are where we spend most time.

I think it’s interesting how we have the same primary love language, but that we don’t always seem to speak it. I think this is where dialect comes in and Gary Chapman covers that thoroughly in Chapter 7 스팸문자. We both crave Words of Affirmation, but it looks and sounds different for us. We’ve had to spend some time thinking concretely and communicate a couple specific instances of how we feel most loved. “I like it when you…”

Discovery and application are two different things. Indiana Jones would never search for treasure, find it, shrug his shoulders, and walk away. So take what you’ve found and display it. Look at it everyday, appreciate it, and use it 카탈리나 베타. Post your lists on the fridge or the bathroom mirror where you will see it often.

But you have to make a choice…

Chapter 10: Love is a Choice

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I tried out for the middle school cheerleading squad and didn’t make it. I tried out again at my new high school the next year and made the JV squad.  The next year, I made the Varsity squad and cheered for two more years Download revit 2018.

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I’m the pale, gangly one on the far right. #vintage #1994

Can I tell you a little secret? I liked being a cheerleader, but I really didn’t like cheering. Why? Because I’m a straight up melancholy introvert. Putting on a big smile, throwing up spirit fingers, and getting the crowd excited did not come naturally at all Forced download of Windows 10.  In fact, it made me feel fake.

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#umbros #longskirts #modestybeforesafety

So why did I try so hard to be on a squad and then spend 3 years out of my comfort zone? Because I wanted the results of what being on a squad gave me: being a part of a team, getting out of school early to travel, getting into games for free, having an activity on my transcript 올레마켓.

Speaking Aron’s primary love language feels the same way sometimes: It’s not natural for me but I’ll choose to go through the process to get the result: a happy husband and a great marriage.

We discover the primary love language of our spouse, and we choose to speak it whether or not it is natural for us…We are simply choosing to do it for his or her benefit 2 before Chung Mu-gong.

Here are the two biggest road blocks after we learn our spouse’s love language:

“It’s doesn’t come naturally to me.”

“I don’t feel like it.”

Aron and I speak the same primary love language, so why does Aron’s tank feel dry sometimes? I’ll admit it: it’s a little uncomfortable when he needs a bit more Tigger and a little less Eeyore from me. Some days, I’m not feelin’ it Then download the Internet.

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My tone of voice and facial expressions make a big difference to Aron when I respond to what he shares with me.

All of us need to thank our spouses for speaking our love language, because it’s probably not natural and they may have not felt like it Download the Google Extension. Don’t be offended if it seems fake. It may be at first…

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When we are making a choice to do anything out of our comfort zone, we have to remember that most of what we know, we had to learn and that we cannot let our emotions be our thermostat. When we were falling in love, it didn’t feel like work.  The process of staying in love has to be intentional, but here’s some good news:

Consistent action becomes instinct.

It’s not about loving the process, it’s about loving the result.

Day 4: Know Better Do Better

I considered splitting Day 4 into two posts, but I just couldn’t.  So what I’m saying is, this is a long one, but I promise it’s REALLY good.

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Chapter 7: Love Language #4

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A willingness to examine and change stereotypes is necessary in order to express love more effectively.

Both Aron and I claim our parents as our role models when thinking in terms of what men and women “do.” But our dads didn’t do everything the same and neither did our moms 다이렉트x 11. Honestly, my expectation for Aron wasn’t a certain role, just that he would be good to his word. Aron has never expected me to be just like anyone else, but he does have a list, a short one, of things that I can do for him that make him feel loved.

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For Aron, I show him love when I:

1. Finish projects or chores around the house. (Admittedly, I leave unfinished projects on counters, dressers…Piles. Everywhere. It can be visually stressful Download the round momorph. That’s the nice way to say A HOT MESS.)

2. Iron his shirts.

Chapman, asks couples to take some time and think “concretely” and make a list of 2-3 specific things that would fill their love tank within their primary love language. Such a small task, but what a big difference it makes.

I literally never knew, even after almost 14 year of marriage, that ironing shirts was so important to Aron. Now I know better, so I need to do better.

Last week, after he made this list, Aron went out of town on business for three days 컴퓨터 동영상. I noticed his clean shirts were hanging over our bed.  Now was the chance to prove myself. I made sure they were ironed and neatly hung back in the closet before he got home. He never said anything, but I know he’d have noticed for sure if I had just left those shirts hanging on the end of the bed for him to take care of when he got home.

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Here’s another example:

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And just in case anyone is tempted to put us in a particular stereotype, Aron doesn’t just need me to be domestic for him 세븐 1995. I am his business partner and his closest friend. He never treats me like a doormat. Quite often, he cooks, does the dishes, and does the laundry. Just today, I came home and found that he had put the kids’ clean clothes away and emptied the dishwasher before he went into work.

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For me, Acts of Service is absolutely critical.  It’s having a general sense of trust and security. Seeing Aron be good to his word is EVERYTHING.

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 The dialect of Acts of Service that fills up my love tank is the kind where Aron simultaneously takes care of business AND fills me in on his progress 어쌔신크리드 2. I don’t like surprises, so that communication is so crucial for me.

Chapter 8: Love Language #5

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To be direct, in between my two readings of The Five Love Languages, I made two assumptions when it came to Physical Touch:

1. Physical Touch = sex.

2. Physical Touch is at the top of every man’s Love Language list.

I was not totally wrong, but I have also heard from many women who also have Physical Touch as their primary love language, and aren’t being fulfilled… in any dialect.

The main reason I had been off base though, isn’t about who wants PT more, it’s about the fact that it doesn’t have to be complicated Download Stormhorse. It’s not all about sex. It’s simply about touch.

This is where I’m going to get on my soap box: Earlier I stated that when we go through rough patches, it doesn’t always draw us closer. We may or may not know what we need, and either way, we may not know how to communicate that effectively.

So it becomes easier to isolate.

And whether it’s reading a popular romance novel turned movie or searching internet sites, women AND men alike are pulling up to the emotional or physical self-service station to fill up their empty love tank Java web.

Sorry to say, but those sources are only a band aid, and usually, the feelings can only be sustained  by doing more of the same.  The love tank never truly gets full. And people get hurt. Badly.

Marriage is a team sport, so stop expending that precious passionate energy on novels, TV shows, movies, or web sites.

But, how do you tell your spouse that they may not be performing well? Gah! Such a touchy subject!  It’s  a whole ego thing Neko Farah downloaded. You may even want to involve a counselor or other objective third party. You have to be so careful about your approach.

Chapman says instead of making demands, we need to learn how to make requests. 5LL does a great job explaining the difference so I won’t take more time with that.

Two things that I would highly recommend when it comes to Physical Touch:

1. Be willing to have conversations about “I like it when you…” AND “I don’t like it when you…” in regards to any dialect of PT whether it’s sex or holding hands Download One Game Go. As always, timing and tone are crucial.

2. Take into consideration having some form of intimacy every 72 hours if possible. Whether it’s your primary love language or not, it makes such a big difference.

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In terms of Aron and I, naturally I assumed that Physical Touch really only meant sex for Aron. Well…for sure, but that’s not what he listed when I asked him for ideas.

He wrote, “Reaching over and touching my knee, neck, or hand when we are driving somewhere or sitting in a meeting.”

It can be just that simple Download security essentials. Know better. Do better.

 

Day 3: Mind Reader

There are times when I think, “Aron is a mind reader.” It’s when he brings me a cup of coffee or my favorite candy bar or he orders Chinese delivery and gets a Red Box. (Chinese is my other love language…don’t hate.)

How does he know what I need or want? It’s because I told him what I like and he listened 브이앱 영상 다운로드. He can tell you if I’m as good as he is…

I think that’s the main thing for me with the chapters today… Whether it’s Quality Time or Gifts, take some time to communicate to each other what you like. Write it down if you need help remembering. You can be a mind reader too.

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Chapter 5: Love Language #2

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This is what Quality Time looks like to Aron:

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1 드라마 영어자막. Working out together or taking a walk.

2. Picking something to watch together and doing that without any other screen distractions.

If you see me working out on purpose, it’s because I truly love my husband. Someday I hope to make the switch to working out because I love myself too 닌텐도 디아블로. I just have to remember what Chapman says:

Quality activities may include anything in which one or both of you has interest. The emphasis is not on what you are doing but on why you are doing it.

When I’m down on the ground attempting my 25th burpee, I’ll just remember how happy it makes Aron and how great my body will look if I keep it up 훈민 워드. Win. Win.

Aron’s point about putting down other electronic devices while we’re watching “our show” is so true.  There are times when there are several other screens on besides the TV. It’s so laughable. When we are both scrolling through social media sites while watching a show, we’re sitting in the same room, but we’re really worlds apart Download Minions for free. What a joke! That’s no kind of quality time.

Don’t even get me started about phones out at the dinner table…just don’t.

This is what Quality Time looks like to me:

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 It’s more of a general idea than a specific outing: we’re doing something together that we really like…Check out the pic upper right pic Oh my ghost 14 times downloaded. That is us in an otherwise empty mini van.  So quiet! We could have an entire conversation without any interruptions. We could listen to anything we wanted. H-E-A-V-E-N.

Why such big smiles?

Isn’t it obvious?

It’s because…

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One of the by-products of quality activities is that they provide a memory bank from which to draw in the years ahead 영화 자막.

Chapter 6: Love Language #3

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Although Gifts isn’t my primary love language, I still love all aspects of gifts.  Buying, wrapping, giving, and receiving.

Aron is a spectacular gift giver.  Sometimes, he downright spoils me. He pays attention to what I say I like or wish I could do or have Free download of Shark Family. It’s amazing. I am grateful.

These are the gifts Aron loves to receive:

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Anything personal and/or handmade: the Seahawks hat, the ticket scrapbook, the kids’ silhouettes.

These gifts and projects were really the result of me taking the time to listen to and remember things that Aron said he wanted or was interested in ms access 2016 다운로드. I know he’s a big Seahawks/Russell Wilson fan, so the hat was a no-brainer. The ticket scrapbook is a collection of all his sporting/entertainment event tickets for the last 20 years. The silhouettes were his Father’s Day present last year.

These are gifts I love to receive:

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I love tulips, chocolate turtles, and coffee Movie Maker 2.1. Aron will surprise me every once in a while with one or more of these things when he comes home from working a busy day.  The fact that he thought about me after his busy day always means a lot.

To be honest, I didn’t do a ton of highlighting in these chapters. I think it’s because these aren’t at the top of my list. But I have such an awesome husband and I’m blessed because he knows how to speak more than one love language really well.

Day 2: Don’t Forget to Remember

Oh my, here we go…Day 2. I REALLY tried to keep it short. I promise, but there’s just too much good stuff in these chapters.

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 Chapter 3: Falling in Love.

Through our rose-colored glasses, we were the most perfect people in the history of EVER. We never made mistakes. It was all butterflies and puppy dogs and hearts and unicorns 기생충 자막 다운로드.

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Some fun facts:

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1. We met at the YMCA when Aron interviewed me for my first job at the after school program.

2. We started dating after a discussion starting with Aron asking me, “So what do you think about me?”

3 Multi-beast. We said “I love you,” after two months of dating.

4. My dad saw our first kiss. I deserved the huge lecture I got when I came back in the house.

4. I was a senior in high school and he was a junior in college…no wonder my parents acted scared to death. They were Download the LEGO Jurassic World game. And I never could relate until I had kids.

Nothing will ever overcome our love for each other. We are enamored and caught up in the beauty and charm of the other’s personality. Our love is the most wonderful thing we have ever experienced.

We saw our strengths more than we considered our weaknesses Download iPad Chrome pdf. When we saw symptoms of bigger issues, we ignored them.  We didn’t really deal with those realities until after we got married.

5LL makes sure to point out that falling in love is just the “introduction” to a relationship.  I’m pretty sure Chapman would agree, however, that “seeing the good” is also a crucial element to staying in love.

When we saw our strengths and compatibility, we saw potential there 솔리드 웍스 2014 크랙. Sometimes our expectations of our mate’s strengths aren’t fulfilled right away or even after a decade. That doesn’t mean that it’s never going to happen. Our mate’s potential to realize their strengths is always there and we can be the catalyst to help them go the distance Xbox.

So much of that power lies in our hands, or rather, our words.

 Chapter 4: Love Language #1

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Words kill, words give life; they’re either poison or fruit-you choose.

-Proverbs 18:21

I love this verse and how true it is.  Our words create or destroy Download with Carrie. Sometimes it’s not what I say, it’s how I say it.  Tone and timing play a huge role in what we say.

However, since Words of Affirmation is on the top of both of our Love Language lists,  it’s more than the kind of words we speak, it’s the lack or abundance of words. If we recognize each other regularly with words-spoken, written, or texted-we are GOOD! If we forget to respond to each other or ignore even the littlest accomplishment/improvement, Aron and I both start to run on empty Download Unity 2d.

If I notice that Aron’s being awesome but I forget to say something, it’s a huge deal.

It’s like typing in a text message but forgetting to press “Send.”

If I’m not affirming Aron with words, I AM sending a message that I don’t intend. It reads, “I don’t notice you or I don’t really care about what I see.”

Last week, I asked Aron to give me a few ways that I can or already do express Words of Affirmation well 뽀로로 극장판 슈퍼썰매 대모험 다운로드.  (If your spouse needs WOA, I encourage you to do the same.)

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1. Anytime that you brag on me in front of the kids.

2. Saying “Thank you” when I do something for our family or our business Download The Equalizer 2.

3. Verbally showing that you are noticing when I am making an effort.

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So here’s the deal.  Aron made the effort to identify specific ways that I can make him feel loved. Now it’s up to me to memorize this list and affirm him in these ways as many times as I can. And because there are only three, it’s not so overwhelming.

Here’s how I hear Aron speaking love to me:

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1. When he writes me a love note. A sticky note, a store bought card, or even a little video he leaves for me on the iPad.

2. When he responds to me quickly. Quick response time means a lot to me. It just does.

3. When he brags on me in public, even if it’s on social media…like when he shares my awesome blog posts…just as an example.

And here’s what’s cool:

…when we receive affirming words we are far more likely to be motivated to reciprocate and do something our spouse desires.

Right on, Gary Chapman.  This is certainly true for Aron and I.

As I close out Day 2, I want to propose a new dialect of Words of Affirmation: Emojis. Emojis of Affirmation:

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Day 1: Where’s The Love?

I’m excited about starting this week long reading challenge with you! I truly believe that The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman will transform your marriage if you are willing to apply the concepts! Here we go:

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Diving into Chapter 1: What Happens to Love After the Wedding Download the Hawkma Comprehensive Annotation?

Love goes away after the wedding?! Ummmm…that’s not awesome. Why does love go? Where is love going? Can I get love back? What’s the point of getting married if love goes away after the wedding?

(Just keep reading, Just keep reading, Just keep reading, reading, reading…I’m channeling Ellen as Dory, of course.)

Back on track though, my thought the whole time I read was, “Forget love 곰 플레이어 다운로드. What happened in general?”  The answer is simple:

Life. Life happened.

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 Wedding, honeymoon, college graduation, first real jobs, teaching, coaching, pets, church, unemployment, child #1, child #2 (14 month later), miscarriage, child #3, toddlers, potty-training, preschool, new business, play dates, family time, travel, holidays, etc. etc. etc.

Putting my life into a list with commas doesn’t diminish these events or the space in between. I could write a post or a million about all these things Download origin 6.0. You can read between the lines and know that there were equal shares of  joy and pain.

And love. Love was there too, but not anything like when we were dating.It looked and felt so different. Sometimes it didn’t even seem to be there.

The hard times don’t always make us lean closer in, they can make us isolate ourselves 일러스트cc 2018.  On top of that, we don’t even know how to verbalize what we need, because we don’t know what to call it.

That’s what I love about what Chapman does in 5LL. He helps us identify that we all need love, but that doesn’t look the same for everybody 442 episodes of One Piece. And that’s OKAY.

5LL wants me to understand very clearly that there is a huge difference between “in love” and “real love.” The huge gap between the two is the choice to serve my mate. I serve him by knowing what I need most AND knowing what he needs and giving that to him.

Chapman is giving us the ability to identify what we need and in turn how to ask for it from each other Download Mac Internet Explorer. That is powerful!

I can calm down about my earlier freak out and know that just because the “in love” goes away after the wedding, the “real love” can be there, and it’s even better and meaningful.

In Chapter 2: Keeping the Love Tank Full, we learn that all of us have a deep need to be loved.

After we come down from the high of the “in love” obsession, the emotional need for love resurfaces because it is fundamental to our nature Microsoft visual studio 2010 service pack 1. It is at the center of our emotional desires. We needed love before we “fell in love,” and we will need it as long as we live. – Chapman p. 2

This took me back to when Aron and I were dating.  I’ll talk more about this with Chapter 3, but Oh MY WORD…we were so goofy in love and it felt perfect Download The Time You Loved. It felt like it would never end and Chapman’s description of those early experiences is spot on: we were OBSESSED.

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But that did come to an end.  It’s not like we never had another wonderful time together. It was just different and I could actually feel the shift .

 I remember when I came to that realization and the point of decision of a commitment to stick with Aron outside of that bubble of bliss Download the National Gymnastics video.

5LL asks me to enhance that decision by making the choice to serve my mate by learning and fluently speaking his love language. That means work and self-sacrifice.  Take it NEXT LEVEL.

When I’m speaking Aron’s love language regularly and vice versa…we get what we need and we give back 심즈 4 스킨. That equals a full love tank and it’s a nice cycle to be on.

I’ll end Day 1 with this confession: I giggle like a fifth grader when I hear a guy say, “I really know how to fill up my wife’s love tank…”

Yep.

5 Love Languages Challenge

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In 2001, Aron and I entered pre-marital counseling Download the video for the housing manager.  Our assignment: read The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman and discuss Wholesale.  To be honest, I skimmed the book.  I enjoyed our discussion with the pastor and thought Chapman was a very smart man and that he had some great ideas 영화 노무현입니다.

My attitude was probably something like, “This is adorable. Another thing off the wedding planning check list. Yay!”  With all the excitement 0f getting married and finishing up my junior year of college, I appreciated the new perspective, but shelved the book, and the concepts with it 고등학교 수학 교과서 다운로드.

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What I  didn’t realize was that this wasn’t just a one-time read, it was a field guide for the duration of my marriage 유성화원 2018.  It didn’t belong on the shelf, it belonged on my night stand.

Flash forward to 2015:  I decided to pick up 5LL again Download The Ducking Engine.  With almost 14 years of marriage under our belt, Aron and I have found out that what Chapman says is true:

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The hard part about marriage, and really any relationship, is sacrifice –making your thing more important than my thing download ios 13 ipsw.  In 5LL, Chapman points out that we all need love, but the way our mate receives love is probably very different than we do. To fulfill our mate’s need for love, it means we have to learn and choose to speak a love language that isn’t natural for us Download The Reversal Test 2. SERIOUS. INTENTIONAL. BUSINESS.

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Re-reading this book along with Aron last month was a great move and it’s lent itself to some great discussions and has reminded us how/gave us new ways to speak each other’s primary love languages Download rpm dependency.  What a difference it made and it only took a week aes.js 다운로드!

I believe that it can make a difference in your marriage too! Take the 5LL Challenge and follow along with me over the next several days as I sort through/react to what I read.

I like having a plan, so if you’re interested, this is how I read through 5LL in a week:

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I highly recommend buying/downloading The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman.  This is the perfect time, right before Valentine’s Day, to give the best gift ever: knowing your loved one’s specific love language and choosing to speak it fluently.

Day 1: Where’s The Love?

Day 2: Don’t Forget To  Remember

Day 3: Mind Reader

Day 4: Know Better Do Better

Day 5: It’s Not Natural

Day 6: Potential Energy

Day 7: In Review

A Love Story That Lasts

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I stand in total wonder at the display before me; The best things truly come when you have the patience to endure – Tyler Knott Gregson

This week, my family celebrates my parents’ 40th wedding anniversary.  Palmer Schoch and Robyn Scollard, high school sweethearts from Ann Arbor, Michigan, were married 0n May 18, 1974, both 21 years old, surrounded by family and friends.

When compared with today’s standards, they were too young to make such a commitment.  They were both still finishing school and, early on, Robyn lost her brother, Bill, and her mother, Mary Hope Search and apps.  These huge losses came just as Palmer and Robyn were starting their family.  In just seven years, they welcomed Mary Irene (1977), Catherine Dru (1979), Rebecca Leigh (1980), and William Palmer (1984).

In 1989, Palmer’s job with Northern Telecom relocated the family from Saline, MI to Raleigh, NC.  Away from family and friends, the couple sacrificed all known comforts to provide for their family.

Throughout the years, Palmer and Robyn have experienced joys and pains, struggles and losses, victories and new ventures. They’ve taken life with its up and downs and all arounds download dwg trueview 2019.  Today, their legacy is one of love and laughter and true connectedness.  They are still best friends.  And full circle, here we are, celebrating their commitment 40 years later.

I haven’t revealed their love story in full detail.  That’s not my point.  But in thinking about the true, full value of what my parents have done and what they will continue doing, I consider this question:

How do two people stay in a committed relationship for that long considering all the contents of their years-the emotional highs and lows, all the changes and transitions, responsibilities, and rewards?  How do couples survive?

Here are some offerings based on watching my parents, from what they’ve taught me based on their experience, and from what I’ve learned from my own experience good boy mp3 다운로드.  Some elements of a successful love story are:

-a shared faith, value system, and/or worldview.  They transcend emotions, transitions, hard times, struggle, and victory.

-a decision that the relationship isn’t just a part of your life, it is your life and everything else is a part of it.

-an intentional, regular romance life…seriously, like every three days in some form or fashion (this grosses people out and I used to roll my eyes at this, but seriously, try it and see how your relationship improves.)

-a financial plan and regular communication about where you are and where you want to go.  If one or both of you is weak in this area, get outside, objective, ongoing guidance.

-a set of boundaries with respect to protecting your marriage from infidelity Download Indian movies.  Having mentors or counselors to keep you personally responsible and honest are so important.  (Online chatting, pornography, becoming emotionally attached to someone else, etc.) Set up a gate around your marriage.  Prioritize protecting each other and defending the survival of your family.

-a common hobby, pastime, routine, or tradition.

Love endures only when the lovers love many things together and not merely each other. – Walter Lippman

-an understanding of personalities/temperaments.  Our commonalities AND differences are important.  A studied understanding of that improves our communication and interaction 다함께 붕붕붕.

-a willingness to ask for help when things get hard.  Look for a counselor or mentor that lines up with your value system/faith/worldview.  Don’t just open up to random input.

-a willingness to learn and personally grow.  Read books, listen to/learn from people who have “fruit on the tree.”  Do it as a couple and separately.

-be a part of a community of friends and family.  Don’t separate or isolate yourself.  Having these relationships are a help and a comfort that give you strength to share your joys and sorrows Christmas video.  Choose people who want to share with you, grow with you, and challenge you to be better.

-an understanding that conflict is inevitable.  It is normal to have disagreements, but learn how to have healthy communication so that emotions and timing don’t come between you and a good resolution.  (Sometimes, Aron and I start our tense convos via text or email so it is rid of emotion, tone, and facial expression. With some of the initial thoughts and questions behind us, our actual conversation is calmer…sometimes.)

-a desire for perspective.  I’ve heard stories and seen couples come through hell and back and lived to tell the tale, stronger than ever.  Just when I think I’m going through a hard time, I can get encouragement and strength from someone else’s story Download the sandol font.

-an understanding that marriage is pure sacrifice.  It’s service. It’s work.  It takes time and energy to be intentional and to take steps into the unknown and to do things that take you completely out of your comfort zone.

-an understanding that endurance, commitment, and faithfulness in a relationship aren’t just for you.  They are an example for those around you, a testimony, a story, and a legacy for generations behind you.

When I go back and read this, it seems like a WISH list…easier typed than done. Am I right?!  Marriage, commitment, fidelity, monogamy, faithfulness, sacrifice, passion, communication, consistency…I’m exhausted just writing those words bad touch.  I’d rather write about coffee, and reading books, and laying on the beach, and fashion, and my kids, and crafts…much easier.  But I think that this is just the point.  Fun vs. work.  Self vs. others.  Love vs. hate. Faithfulness vs. Whateverness. Easy vs. Hard.  Natural vs. Supernatural.

From my perspective, when you decide to do something supernatural like commit to someone FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE (FOR-E-VEEEEER…please tell me you get this reference), you need the supernatural to support your efforts.  Yes, I’m going there.  I’m talking about the recognition that we can only accomplish endurance, patience, and things like 40 years of marriage through an act of God…literally 범인은 바로 너 시즌2 다운로드.

My main point is that it’s not possible to be perfect, but it is possible to plan, be purposeful, and have perspective, like my parents have, through their filter of faith, to ensure that you can and will endure and have the reward of a time-tested love story for all the ages.

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Resources

Chapman, Gary D. The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate. Chicago: Northfield Pub., 1995. Print.

Eggerichs, Emerson. Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires, the Respect He Desperately Needs 레오곡 다운로드. Nashville, TN: Integrity, 2004. Print.

Littauer, Florence. Personality Plus for Couples Understanding Yourself and the One You Love. Grand Rapids: Baker Pub. Group, 2001. Print.

Littauer, Marita, and Florence Littauer. Wired That Way. Ventura, CA: Regal, 2006. Print.

Stanley, Andy. “Staying In Love.” North Point. N.p., n.d. Web. 24 May 2014

 

Felt Wreath Ornaments

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I found a cute idea on Pinterest for a felt wreath ornament Download the first of the seven sins.  I followed the link through to find the directions, but they weren’t there anymore.  Bummer.  I loved the idea, so I made it work.  Here is my recipe for a  felt wreath ornament

Ingredients:

8 colors of felt (2- 9×12 sheets of each)

pipe cleaners

ribbon (18- 12 in strips)

2 needles (1 skinny, 1 thick)

scissors 

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#1 Cut sheets of felt into 12  1 inch strips and then 1 inch squares 1 download in Spain.  There should be enough squares of each color to make 18 wreaths.  (Having them measured out like that gives me more predictability and allows me to get the most  out of the materials.)

(I used my Fiskars paper cutter, one of the best investments I’ve ever made, to get a better, quicker cut Acronis True Image.  A rolling fabric cutter and grid used for quilting would work too.)

#2 Use 12 of each color for 1 wreath Hello Pet.  Choose the order you want the colors to appear. Using a smaller needle, make a hole in the squares.

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#3 Use a thicker gauge needle to make a larger hole 다크 밸리.

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(This is the only way I could think of to make a large enough hole to be able to thread the pipe cleaner easily CharacterMaker.  If you have a better, quicker idea, I’d love to hear from you!)

#4 Thread the squares on the pipe cleaners Download Windows Vista.

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#5 When all the squares are on the pipe cleaner, cross the end pieces and twist/tie off 폴라리스.

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#6 Tie the ribbon once and then again on top to create the loop Download Mobile Battleground Amed Hack.

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Tie another knot at the top to complete the loop Pupped.  Make and give as many as you want.  Don’t forget to keep one for your own tree!

(This is a great craft that elementary aged kids and older could handle. )

If you have any pipe cleansers left, this is a great ornament that little hands can handle. (I found the beads and pipe cleaners at  Dollar Tree.)

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